The following is satirical.

A House Committee has voted to find Attorney General William Barr in contempt of Congress, making Barr one of 257-million Americans who now hold Congress in contempt. The number of Americans who hold Congress in contempt is essentially the entire population of the country minus children, four-legged animals dressed up as humans, Democrats attempting to vote when they’re actually dead and Americans who were too busy watching Real Mafia Housewives to find out what the word Congress means — although many in that last category said if Congress turned out to be anything like those useless fat guys wandering around Washington D.C., they guessed contempt would be a good word for how they felt about them.

One voter, in a statement shouted at an interviewer through a locked front door, said, “At first I was unsure whether I held Congress in contempt or whether Congress was actually beneath my contempt, but I finally decided if I could have contempt for that movie villain who had twenty-three different personalities and kidnapped teenage girls, then I guess I wasn’t too high-minded to have contempt for Jerry Nadler too.”

In a fact-check of that statement, The Daily Wire found that the dictionary defines contempt as the feeling with which a person regards anything considered mean, vile, or worthless, making it almost impossible to distinguish between contempt and the emotion experienced by normal people in Nadler’s presence.

As another voter explained to interviewers, “I once lived next to a guy a lot like Jerry Nadler but I moved away from him, sacrificing my job, selling my house at a loss, divorcing my wife and abandoning my children in order to put as much distance between me and this Jerry Nadler-type person as humanly possible.”

The vote to add Attorney General Barr to the vast number of Americans who hold Congress in contempt came after Barr refused to testify before Congress because he said he held it in contempt.

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