On Tuesday’s episode of “The Andrew Klavan Show,” the host discusses an absurd article from The New York Times, a “former newspaper,” claiming the GOP will soon face an apocalypse.
On the West Side of Manhattan — or as New Yorkers call it, the edge of the known world — there is a skyscraper that houses The New York Times, a former newspaper, and on the pages of that newspaper is an op-ed section that we like to call knucklehead row.
On that row of knuckleheads there writes a man named David Brooks, who today predicted the coming GOP apocalypse. Brooks notes that a 2002 book predicted the end of the Republicans but, in fact, that didn’t happen because older white voters and assimilated Hispanics swung to the right. That made people think twice about predicting the end of Republicans — but not our man Brooks, no sir. Brooks says this time the Republican Party is really doomed because millennials hate us.
He says, “Today’s generation gap is based on concrete lived experience that is never going to go away. Unlike the Silent Generation and the Boomers, Millennials and Gen-Z voters live with a difference every single day. Only 16% of the Silent Generation is a minority, but 44% of the Millennial generation is. If you are a millennial in California, Texas, Florida, Arizona, or New Jersey, ethnic minorities make up more than half of your age cohort. In just over two decades, America will be a majority-minority country. Young voters approve of these trends.”
You see folks, what makes the knuckleheads on knucklehead row, knuckleheads is that they never talk to anyone but other knuckleheads. Knucklehead confers with knucklehead confirming their knuckleheaded knuckleheadedness until the whole world seems to them as knuckleheaded as themselves. Brooks thinks that we Republicans who are conservatives are sitting around wondering how we can hold off the great tide of minority majorities, and since everyone they know agrees that that’s what Republicans think, they figure it must be true. They are, in short, knuckleheads. No one gives a rat’s ass about diversity.
No one cares what color people are. No one cares about your lived experience with people of different colors. What we care about is that the values that made this country great continue to guide the changes the time, demographics, and technology are bound to bring. No one cares if you’re brown or yellow or gay or anything else. We just care that you’re educated enough, responsible enough, and self-reliant enough to be free yourself and not to endanger our freedom. Also, we want to make observations and jokes about you without getting fired or thrown off Twitter.
In short, we on the right don’t care what color you are. As long as you’re colored American. We conservatives are the people who brought you the end of the Cold War, the rollback of the ’70s and ’80s crime wave, the prosperity of the ’80s through ’90s, the return to judicial constitutionalism, a welfare reform that really worked until Obama destroyed it, and the surge that ended the Iraq War. You, leftists, are the folks who brought us crime, homelessness, widespread sexual malfeasance, disease, renewed racial animosity, the appeasement of jihadism, and the death of American education.
Maybe if you knuckleheads stop talking to one another and started talking to us, you could stop obsessing over people’s colors and micro-aggressions and other baloney and help us solve today’s problems as we did the problems of the past while you were busy screwing stuff up in the name of diversity.