The following is satirical.

More details are coming out about the historically historic meeting between the fat crazy man in North Korea and Kim Jong Un. President Trump and Kim met at the demilitarized zone after Trump sent Kim a playful spontaneous tweet, saying, “Dear murderous lunatic with stupid hair, meet me at the DMZ for laughs and denuclearization.” Kim immediately rushed to the meeting place with an entourage that included his agent, two publicists, a makeup girl, and 300,000 heavily armed infantrymen with eyes like zombies.

In a thrilling off-the-cuff moment, Kim invited Trump to become the first sitting U.S. president ever to step into a country where the first man to stop applauding for the leader turns up three weeks later in several different plastic bags.

Trump and Kim then took nineteen paces together, each more historically historic than the last, after which Kim offered to welcome the American press corps with a traditional North Korean disembowelment ceremony. President Trump promised the reporters it would all be in good fun, but the cowards preferred to escape with their lives.

In a private meeting, Trump and Kim then agreed to reopen the denuclearization talks, which faltered last February when Kim threatened to extinguish life on earth and Trump responded by poking him in the eye, then hitting him on top of the head with a mallet. The New York Times, a former newspaper, promptly responded to the incident with a harsh editorial accusing Trump of damaging the work of previous presidents whose more measured statesmanship had developed the relationship between our two countries to the brink of nuclear annihilation.

Trump and Kim then returned to South Korea for something to eat, after Kim remarked, “Man, I’m starving. And so is everyone else around here. Ha ha ha. Get it?”

After the summit, Trump said Kim was “a great little guy and a total mass murderer.” He even offered Kim a job in his administration, but the dictator declined, saying, “I’m crazy. But not that crazy.”

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