FRANKLIN, WI—Local man Braden Davis headed to Home Depot this morning in hopes of completing a few house projects his wife had assigned him over a month ago.
Davis raced through the store and was able to find most of the items on his list with ease, which made him feel super manly. However, he ran into a little trouble when he went to look for an axe he needed in order to split some wood in his backyard.
“Excuse me,” he said to a sales associate, feeling really embarrassed to be a man asking for help at a hardware store. “I need help finding an axe. My wife gave me strict orders to split all the logs in our yard by Monday or she’ll cancel my fantasy football league. You think this bad boy will do the trick?” Davis was sure he was holding the correct tool for the job. “Well what you’re holding in your hand is a tiny axe for children, so that’s not going to work,” the middle-age female associate explained. “I’d go with this guy right here,” she said, holding up a beautiful 8-pound wood-splitting maul.
Just then a little piece of Davis’ masculinity died, and he realized how much of a girl he was. The associate proceeded to demonstrate to Davis how to properly handle the maul, easily lifting it above her head. Davis was embarrassed, and he hoped nobody was watching.
On his way to check out, Davis noticed two teenagers pointing at him and laughing; but he just continued on, checked out, and exited the store.
“You are one sorry excuse for a man,” Davis whispered to himself as he got into his car and turned on some Coldplay.
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