https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-hires-this-is-fine-dog-to-report-on-riots/

ATLANTA, GA—CNN has hired a new reporter, the “This is Fine” dog of internet fame.

The canine will simply stand in front of burning homes and buildings and say, “This is fine.” Created by KC Green, the dog began as a humble webcomic and has gone on to do great things, from working on multiple political campaigns and at the Trump White House to now landing a job as a CNN correspondent.

During his first report last night at the Kenosha riots, the dog stood in front of a tire fire and reported to both of CNN’s faithful viewers that “this is fine.” A brick flew over his head and a Molotov cocktail lit his face on fire, melting the flesh from his bones. “This is fine,” he assured the viewers.

CNN dutifully changed its chyron to read THIS IS FINE for the entire report, as well, saying they will hold that caption for the remainder of the riots.

When asked how he’s feeling about his new career as CNN reporter, the dog said, “This is fine.”

Breaking: PayPal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn’t subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren’t bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God’s invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.


Previous Article

RNC Surprise: Trump Announces Space Force Has Defeated Jupiter

You Might Like
Learn more about RevenueStripe...