https://babylonbee.com/news/new-madden-feature-allows-you-to-replace-football-with-molotov-cocktail/

REDWOOD CITY, CA—In its latest update to Madden NFL 21, EA Sports has unlocked a feature that allows you to replace the football with a Molotov cocktail. 

Though gamers are not required to take the Molotov cocktail, burn down the stadium, destroy the city they’re playing in, and then go burn down the mayor’s home, it is definitely encouraged. The team that destroys the most property by the end of each game will be awarded the Lombardi Trophy. 

“The Molotov cocktail is going to revolutionize the game,” EA Sports wrote in a statement. “You’ll get the 750-milliliter bottle right away, and sure you can do plenty of damage with that; but make Colin Kaepernick your starting QB, and boom, you’ll immediately upgrade to the larger, more destructive 1.75-liter bottle. It’s social justice at its best!”

A few gamers had some trouble with the new feature and have written EA Sports to complain. One wrote that Drew Brees only throws the cocktail at the American flag. Another complained that the commentators don’t do enough to encourage peaceful protests. One fan complained that Colin Kaepernick cannot accurately hit targets with the Molotov cocktail, leaving the stadium and surrounding city mostly unharmed. 

EA Sports has since set all of Colin Kaepernick’s stats to 99 so he can successfully destroy as many cities as he wants for social justice.

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