https://babylonbee.com/news/baby-scientist-studying-the-effect-of-gravity-on-anything-that-comes-near-his-highchair/

Baby Scientist Studying The Effect Of Gravity On Anything That Comes Near His Highchair

RAPID FALLS, IA—Joey Tyler, aged fourteen months, has begun researching the effects of gravity. His main time for research is when he is in his high chair. The high vantage point, Joey has found out, allows for more interesting results when gravity is allowed to take effect.

The main objects of Joey’s study are whatever objects come within arm’s length of this high chair. Mostly it’s food, though gravity’s effects on solid foods such as Cheerios have become fairly uninteresting. He’s gotten much more data when his chair was left near a countertop where a whole box of Cheerios stood; he was able to test gravity on that, leading to many ancillary effects when the open box hit the ground.

Another interesting object of study is his sippy cup. Most results are fairly typical — the cup hits the ground and soon comes to a rest — but occasionally the lid comes off, and the results of that are always illuminating. Another constant area of study is the spoon his mother uses to feed him. When he’s able to wrest control of it, it makes a great test subject — especially if it has food in it. And on the occasions he’s been able to grab the bowl his mother has been feeding him from, he’s able to get an explosion of data.

“No!” is often the response from his mother, who has taken a firm anti-science position. Undaunted, Joey vows to continue his study, and his newfound ability to pull himself up to his feet promises to open up new avenues of research, even when out of the high chair.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It’s loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.


Previous Article

Midwesterner Explains To Terrified Californian Visitor That The Autumn Trees Aren’t Actually On Fire

You Might Like
Learn more about RevenueStripe...