ROCHESTER, MN—According to sources, local wife and mother Lindsay Bennett left the house with her daughter last Saturday around noon to make a Target run, leaving her husband home to watch the rest of the kids.

Lindsay had written a nice little list that included necessities such as hand soap, a laundry basket, a copy of Girl Wash Your Face, and a “cute patchwork cover thingy that goes on the other thingy and will look so cute in the living room.” When she got to the checkout line it was clear that she had gotten way more things than she had come in for. 

Bennett had in her cart several pairs of sunglasses from the dollar bin, most of which would be out of style within a few days. She filled a good portion of the cart with wood signs that had sayings on them, one reading “home is where the heart is.” She had also managed to fit six new purses into the cart, all of which were “super-nice for the price.”

When she got home, her husband had managed to get their youngest child down for a nap but was juggling the other two, one of which was coloring on the wall. The other child, eight-year-old Danny, was chasing his father around the house pelting him with paintballs.

“Honey, can you come to help me unload the car?” she asked.

“Sure babe. Be right there,” he replied.

When her husband opened the trunk, he had only one thing to say: “Wow, honey, we’re going to have some great inventory for next year’s rummage sale!”

That was not what he was supposed to say.

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