https://babylonbee.com/news/babylon-mom-how-this-momboss-almost-breaks-even-with-essential-oils/

Hey everyone, wow it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. Life has just been crazy for our little family lately!

Girls, I hear it all the time:

“Multi-Level Marketing businesses are a scam!”
“It’s just a pyramid scheme!”
“Why did you kidnap me and take me to this crowded sales pitch for essential oils?”

And let me just say: I get it.

You’re skeptical. You’ve been burned by the other brands. But let me tell you, that’s only because you haven’t found the brand that really works!

…Until now!

Allow me to introduce you to BabylLife essential oils, the one true MLM that’s sure to make your dreams come true!

Don’t believe me? Then how do you explain this stock photo of a luxury yacht?

If that’s not proof this works, I don’t know what is!

Put aside your skepticism for a moment, and just ask yourself:

  • Isn’t it about time you have the life of shallow materialism you’ve always wanted?
  • Isn’t it about time you stopped working for The Man so you can expand our corporation’s profits?
  • Isn’t it about time you became your own #MomBoss?

“But Grace,” you might say, “you’re not really an independent business owner! You’re no different from any corporate employee!”

Well then, how do you explain the fact that I have no regular salary or standard employee benefits?

Now, don’t get me wrong; this journey hasn’t been without its sacrifices. My husband had to take a second job in order to cover the cost of my monthly minimum purchase requirements. My friends and family have stopped talking to me after I started private messaging them and everyone on their friends lists to tell them about this exciting opportunity. My church excommunicated me for disguising my BabylLife™ parties as a women’s Bible study. Sadly, that’s just what happens when you’re a doer: You have to leave the non-doers and other meaningful relationships behind.

Now, I know you might not even believe in the benefits of essential oils. But that’s the beauty of this business. You don’t have to care about or actually use the product at all. In fact, you don’t even have to sell the product to others! All you have to do is convince other people to convince other people to convince other people to sell the product!

This is the part where people usually say, “Hey, that sounds like a pyramid scheme!” But if it were truly a pyramid scheme, would it involve being contractually obligated to purchase products you don’t need so that the person who recruited you can get a cut of those proceeds? I dont think so!

You’re probably going to ask how much it costs to get started, and what the minimum monthly purchase is. That’s the wrong question. You’re a smart person, so that’s why I’m going to spoon-feed you this not-at-all-pandering response from BabylLife’s marketing materials:

Don’t ask how much it will cost you to get started. Ask yourself how much it will cost you to miss out on this incredible opportunity!

Ask yourself why you’re slaving away, trying to make ends meet with your current income, when you could be almost breaking even as a badbutt #momboss entrepreneur!
 


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