ALBANY, NY—In a swift and decisive response to skyrocketing crime, unemployment, and pandemic deaths, Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York is demanding to know who is responsible for this mess so he can hold them accountable.
“This is bad — really, really, bad,” said Cuomo to reporters. Whoever is running this state into the ground must be held accountable for their terrible mismanagement! I promise to get to the bottom of this because I am a fantastic leader,” he said while holding up a copy of his latest leadership book: American Crisis.
Cuomo’s administration looked throughout the entire state of New York but couldn’t find any Republicans who they could blame for the terrible condition of the state.
Eventually, they found the culprit: a town treasurer in rural Chautauqua named Dale Smithers. “Dale is the worst!” said Governor Cuomo. “He’s a Trump supporter and I have evidence he may have mismanaged his town’s budget of 42 dollars!
New York’s leadership brought Mr. Smithers before a tribunal and forced him to answer for his poor leadership. Cuomo then wrote another bestselling book about the experience.
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