https://babylonbee.com/news/in-order-to-get-christian-women-to-take-vaccine-it-will-now-be-distributed-via-a-pyramid-scheme/

In Order To Appeal To Suburban Christian Women, Vaccine To Be Distributed Through A Pyramid Scheme

U.S.—Many people are skeptical of the coming vaccine, some due to political reasons, and others due to religious reasons or the fact that all the numbers in the vaccine’s serial number add up to 666 or something.

But there’s one group that will definitely be on board with the vaccine now: suburban Christian women.

That’s because the vaccine is being rebranded as an empowering wellness product called VacciLife. Women can sign on as an independent VacciLife consultant just by purchasing a $200 starter kit. Then, they’re able to become their own boss and control their financial future by selling the vaccine — and, even more importantly, a great business opportunity — to their friends and family.

“VacciLife is a great way to meet other women in your neighborhood or church, earn some extra money on the side, and become a real boss babe,” said VacciLife CEO Dr. Ima Connor. “Women can climb what we like to call our ‘triangle of success,’ becoming a Senior Consultant, Sales Director, and even a Super Double-Plus Platinum Diamond Gold Titanium Steel Regional Master!”

“Seize your dreams, take hold of your future, and ask your neighborhood VacciLife consultant about our great business opportunity today!”

Before the announcement, just 19% of suburban Christian women said they would take the vaccine. Now, that number is over 99% — which is, coincidentally, the same percentage of people that will lose money trying to work for VacciLife.


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