NEW YORK, NY—After last week’s attack on the Capitol that Trump obviously planned and personally ordered, NBC has announced that all future reruns of the hit reality show The Apprentice will digitally remove Trump from all scenes.
“Trump is bad, but recent events have shown him to be ‘ultrabad,'” said NBC Entertainment President Frances Berwick. “Ultrabad is at least 1000 times badder than regular bad, which is even badder than everyone thought. We will therefore be removing Trump’s big, bad head from all episodes of The Apprentice so that you won’t have to look at it anymore while enjoying your favorite episodes of our hit show.”
Sources say that all of Trump’s dialogue will be removed from audio, and his head will be digitally removed as well. “Everything else will remain the same,” said Berwick. “Characters will just react to a silent, gesturing empty suit– which is far less triggering than seeing Trump, unless you have a fear of invisible people. In that case, it may be quite unsettling.”
“Wow! This is just like The Apprentice, but with less Trump! Yay!” said several test viewers.
Original DVD copies of the unedited Trump version of the show are currently selling for $10,000 on eBay.
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