U.S.—With Trump cut off from his primary means of communication on Twitter, he has been forced to find creative ways to communicate with his supporters. Yesterday, people in D.C. reported seeing a column of black smoke rising from the white house lawn in a distinctive morse code pattern. The pattern was later translated to mean “RIGGED ELECTION!”
“Trump is a man of the people, and nothing will stop him from talking to them,” said Press Secretary Kayleigh Mcenany in a statement written on a paper towel with a marker and delivered via carrier pigeon. “He continues to believe this election was unfair and will continue to bring that message to th—” The message ended abruptly, seemingly because the Press Secretary had run out of space on the paper towel.
Elders from the Cherokee Nation forcefully condemned Trump’s communication method as an egregious act of cultural appropriation. National Guard troops were then dispatched to confiscate Trump’s firewood and wet horse blanket and silence the President once again.
Not to be deterred, Trump has announced he will be hiring thousands of town criers to walk through towns across America shouting “RIGGED ELECTION!”
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