https://babylonbee.com/news/calvary-chapel-pastor-late-for-church-after-he-cant-find-his-dress-sandals/

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—Local Calvary Chapel pastor Chad “Maverick” Kyle was late for church again this past Sunday after he spent all morning looking for his dress sandals.

It’s reportedly a constant problem in the Kyle household, as the pastor forgets to put out his nice Hawaiian shirt, Sunday cargo shorts, and dress sandals the night before, even though his wife is always reminding him that “Sunday morning starts on Saturday night.” Kyle defended himself, though, saying that Saturday nights he’s usually busy with sermon prep.

“Honey — have you seen my nice Sunday sandals? The brown ones?” he shouted as he rummaged through the garage, looking through his surfboards, boogie boards, and skimboards stacked against the wall. “I can only find my office sandals, but those aren’t appropriate for church — they’re all sandy and worn out!”

“Have you checked under your end times rapture fold-out chart?” his wife, Noreen, called back. “You’re always taking them off there!”

Finally locating his Sunday sandals near his cajon, Kyle rushed the family out the door. They were late for worship, but luckily, the band was able to delay the service by repeating the bridge to a Jeremy Camp song 28 times, which is 15 times more than usual.


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