https://babylonbee.com/news/breaking-joe-biden-just-used-a-plastic-baggie-to-pick-up-his-dogs-poop-and-let-me-just-tell-you--it-was-adorable/

Op-Ed: This Adorable Picture Of Biden Picking Up His Dog’s Poop Is Exactly What America Needs Right Now

This morning as I stood on the White House lawn, it all finally started to sink in. 

He’s gone, I thought. 

He’s really gone…

The long nightmare is over. Democracy is back.

I had my press pass back, too. Back in March of 2020, Donald Trump ripped my press pass away from me, struggled to rip it in half, (he failed miserably,) and then tossed it to a staffer who never gave it back to me. All I had done was ask him a simple question about why he wanted transgender people to die. 

But those painful memories are past– washed away in the flood of grace and goodness that is the Biden Administration.

After arriving at the White House, I took a seat in one of the cute little folding chairs that had been set up by our president’s caring staff. I noticed after a moment that President Joe Biden (oh my goodness, doesn’t it just feel SO GOOD to say that?!) PRESIDENT BIDEN had his German Shepherds Champ and Major out for a little stroll. This in itself was adorable already!

Here we have a president who cares so much about animals that he is willing to take a break from all the chaos of being president just to take his dogs on a walk. Heartwarming! If only we had seen glimpses of this kind of behavior over the past four years. But those days are over now, aren’t they?!?! [chuckle]

I was briefly distracted—I think possibly Jen Psaki’s super cute outfit had caught my attention—but when I looked back I noticed Biden’s dog Champ as he took a real good sniff of the earth. I saw him turn around a few times before catching another whiff of grass. 

And apparently, President Biden had noticed too—you know, because he’s a kindhearted person and all, unlike our previous president! So I looked at President Biden and I kid you not, I read his beautiful lips and he said “Hey Champ, you gotta go, boy? Go ahead. Go wherever you’d like.” 

OMG! ADORABLE!

And he did it. Champ dropped literally the most perfect dog turd I have ever seen—and I’ve seen a lot of dog poop in my lifetime, let me tell you.

After Champ finished up, President Joe Biden did something only heroes do: he reached into his pocket, pulled out a plastic baggie, flipped it inside out with expert precision, and without missing a beat he reached down and picked up the poop. Quickly, the president tied up the baggie and tossed it into a nearby trash can, stopping on the way to pet each of his perfectly handsome dogs. This was easily the most adorable moment in presidential history!

I snapped a picture — a picture of the leader of the free world stooping down pick up after his dog. He’s relatable. Compassionate. Unifying. Human. If this picture doesn’t bring America together, I don’t know what will.


Previous Article

Uh-Oh: This Man Thought He’d Be On The Right Side Of History, But Apparently People In The Future Think Sucking Babies’ Brains Out Is Bad

Next Article

Democrats Vow To Follow The Science Of Whichever Union Donates The Most Money

You Might Like
Learn more about RevenueStripe...