WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden has been removed from the White House for evaluation by a team of physicians after biting one of the aides.
“We are so shocked,” said Chief of Staff Ron Klain of the incident. “He has always been so docile and well behaved– always limiting his interactions to sniffing and friendly licks. He’s never bitten anyone like this.”
Experts have suggested that the new environment and activity has been traumatizing to the President, and are suggesting adjusting his diet and perhaps a few weeks at obedience school to remedy the situation.
“Worst case scenario, we may have to put him down,” said Dr. Kevin O’Connor, the White House physician. “Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but sometimes these things happen.”
Vice President Kamala Harris has assured the American people that Biden will be sent to a nice farm upstate where he can run free.
Biden’s Video Editor Pieces Together 2 Minutes Of Coherent Remarks From 2 Hours Of Raw Footage
‘I Sure Am Glad I Don’t Live In One Of Those Banana Republics,’ Says Man As He Walks By Wall Indefinitely Surrounding Capitol