Masks have been the greatest way for us to distinguish between morally superior people and all the evil selfish people. But how will the world know what a good person you are when masks are no longer required? Don’t worry fam– we here at the Babylon Bee are morality experts. We got you.
Here are 10 easy ways to keep feeling morally superior once the pandemic is over:
Never stop wearing a mask as long as you live: This is probably the simplest solution. Wear your mask forever. Breathe in that sweet, sweet, moral superiority and CO2.
Start a podcast about your time wearing a mask: Bring in co-hosts who also wore masks, and talk about how you wore masks. As a bonus, do it while wearing a mask.
Get a tattoo of your mask on your face: There’s no better way of reminding everyone how important masks used to be and how important you were for wearing one.
Start an HOA in your suburban neighborhood: Oh– you already started one? Of course, you did!
Declare a climate emergency and switch to an all-bug diet: Bugs are the most morally superior thing to eat. Also, be rich and drive an electric car. Shame all people who do not do the same.
Punch a white male in the face every day: If you’re not already doing this, what the heck is wrong with you? Go punch a white male in his dumb white face!
Travel only by train for the rest of your life: Trains are more moral than cars. Don’t ask us why. We’re actually not sure why but we’re looking into it. If you don’t have a train nearby due to living in a racist Republican area, just ride a bike instead.
Drone strike a Middle-Eastern country: Obama, the Child of Light and Son of Hope did this often. Follow in the footsteps of Barack.
Become a Christian: Religious people are known for how morally superior they believe themselves to be. You’ll fit right in!
Become an atheist: If there’s anyone even more morally superior than a Christian, it’s an atheist!
There you have it! You can’t go wrong with this list! You are a good person just for reading it. Go and show the world how much better you are than them!