WILSON, WY—Many thought former Vice President Dick Cheney would be upset about the treatment of his daughter Representative Liz Cheney and the fact that she was expelled from leadership for denouncing former President Donald Trump, but Dick Cheney has now invited Trump on a hunting trip where they can patch things up.
“Just you and me out alone in the woods with no Secret Service,” Cheney told Trump, “where hopefully we can see eye to eye… but you never can be quite sure what will happen.”
Trump eagerly accepted the invitation. “I hope there are no hard feelings between us,” Trump told Cheney while gearing up for the hunt, “even though your daughter is an idiot and a loser, and I hope she gets hit by a bus.”
Cheney smiled. “No, no hard feelings. Just be careful out there.” Cheney loaded his shotgun. “Accidents happen.”
“Not with me,” Trump said as he waved around a shotgun. “I have never done anything wrong in my entire life… except let that election get stolen from me. Which your moron, warmongering daughter didn’t care about. Your moron daughter who is also ugly. Though you seem okay.”
Cheney simply nodded and kept smiling mysteriously. “Well, let’s go deep into the woods — far from prying eyes. We have some hunting to do.”
“Great,” Trump said. “I’ve never hunted before, but I’m probably the best at it. I’m going to kill all the birds. All the birds in Wyoming — a state I never even heard of before today. Probably full of idiots. Idiots like your daughter.”
Cheney and Trump then went into the woods. Updates on their trip will be added when available.
UPDATE: Trump accidentally shot Cheney in the butt.