https://babylonbee.com/news/deranged-psychopath-seen-putting-mask-on-a-toddler/

JACKSON, MS—Police are on high alert after a stark-raving lunatic was seen at a public park attempting to put a mask on a young toddler.

According to witnesses, the deranged nutjob struggled for over 5 minutes to affix the pointless and uncomfortable mask on the face of the innocent little girl as she kicked and struggled. 

“This isn’t just for your protection! This is to protect me!” yelled the dangerous, certifiably unhinged wingnut as he completely ignored the girl’s protests. 

Several sources attempted to step in and help the little girl, but were quickly scared off as the man began recording them on his cell phone and calling them “grandma killers.” 

“We’ve seen an increased number of instances like this,” said Police Chief Buggs Tubberskaw in a press conference. “Please know that we have every available officer working on bringing these looney-tune wackos to justice. Please stay alert when you are out and about. If you see something, say something.”

The press conference was quickly cut short, however, as the police received reports of a frenzied maniac attempting to sit down with her toddler to read a copy of Woke Baby.


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