MIAMI, FL—Progressives across the nation cheered wildly as a biological male absolutely pummeled a woman in an MMA fight.
“You love to see it,” said Katherine Freedle, women’s rights activist. “This is what we’ve been fighting for for decades. Finally, we’ve reached a point of equality where it’s okay for a grown man to beat the tar out of a woman on national television.”
“Alana McLaughlin was so brave to get out there and risk everything!” Freedle continued. “Sure, McLaughlin has benefited from a lifetime of testosterone, increased muscle mass, and bone density, but it must’ve taken some real…um, some real courage to put yourself out there like that and be seen by the world!”
Despite the cheers, and praises from progressives, many backward, transphobic conservatives had a hard time even watching the fight. “It just wasn’t right, ya know? Made me sick to even look at,” said George Harper. “I mean the guy just clobbered this woman, and somehow they were able to celebrate it!”
In a post-match statement, McLaughlin said that hopefully this has been an encouragement and inspiration for others to stand up, and be brave also. “In fact, this is only the beginning, and we won’t stop here. One day we will defeat ageism too, and allow teenage girls to fight fully grown adult males!”