NEW YORK, NY—The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics is reporting a drastic rise in the unemployment rate among brothers in the Cuomo family, saying it has increased to a record 100%. “This is unprecedented among Cuomos,” said BLS Commissioner Bob Labor. “Contributing factors may include a struggling economy, as well as the fact that they’re both corrupt skeezy pervs.” 

Experts expect the Cuomo unemployment rate to tick down later next year when they release their bestselling tell-all books about being corrupt skeezy pervs and run for public office. 

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