‘I Can Take Care Of The Kids On My Own,’ Says Dad While Feeding Kids Handfuls Of Shredded Cheese For Lunch

FT. WORTH, TX—While his wife was in bed with a stomach virus all day, local father Todd Fennick had high praise for his ability to care for their four kids without her.

“She needs to stay in bed today, and that’s fine, because I think I’m doing a great job, frankly,” said Fennick as he served his children a lunch consisting of paper plates holding a handful of shredded cheese, a Slim Jim, a dollop of cookie butter, and some packets of crackers that he found in the junk drawer.

Four-year-old Padme Fennick, who appeared to be wearing paper towels wrapped around the lower half of her body rather than pants, enthusiastically agreed with her father. “I love cookie butter!” she said. “And dad’s letting us watch a princess show called Game of Thrones! It’s got dragons!”

As he stepped over a torrent of fluid flowing out from under the door of the hall bathroom, the Fennick patriarch continued, “This whole parenting thing is not so hard. Just keep everybody fed and entertained. It’s a lot like living with my college roommates, and only a couple of them went to jail. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to throw a tarp over this hall carpet until my wife can handle it.”

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