WASHINGTON, D.C.—Legal experts are begging Justice Sonia Sotomayor to recuse herself from hearing further arguments in vaccine mandate case, Biden v. Missouri, because she is “a dumb idiot.”
Earlier today she interrupted oral arguments to ask why the sky was blue. She later grilled the attorney on whether the Pope is Catholic. The Biden administration’s lawyer was taken off guard by this and lost the flow of his argument. Court transcripts reveal this caused the court to cut to a brief recess so he could regain his composure.
“If I don’t win this case I’ll be ruined!” said James Vanderpathy Esq. to reporters outside the Supreme Court Building. “They only pay me if I violate constitutional freedoms!”
When the court reconvened to hear additional arguments Sotomayer explained she couldn’t hear the attorneys over the sound of her banging gavel. When Justice Thomas suggested she stop banging said gavel she stared at him as if offended.
“But it’s my gavel,” said Sotomayer.
At that point Justice Kavanaugh said, “Peace, I’m out!” and the session was adjourned. Justice Alito rolled his eyes while Thomas buried his head in his hands.
President Biden is reportedly furious with how things are going. “I thought it’d be a tough case to win since it’s obviously illegal, but I didn’t think that wise Latinx woman would destroy the case for us! What a bunch of malarkey!” He then murmured something about needing to call Hillary for a favor.
This is not the first time Sotomayor has disrupted court proceedings. Back in 2012 she famously struck down an anti-illegal immigration law in Arizona because she was afraid of starting an intergalactic incident with the Romulans.
We’re live on the scene at the Capitol building as the FBI hosts their beloved annual January 6 reunion. Good times!