U.S.—As part of a bold new marketing strategy to promote inclusivity and appeal to less than 1% of the population, Mars, Incorporated has introduced a new M&M character who identifies as a Skittle. 

“I’m gonna be honest here. We basically are doing this because it’s hip and makes us look cool,” said Mars, Incorporated CEO Franklin Crunchy. “And that adds to the bottom line. I think we can make a decent fortune by comparing the hardship of real trans people to a wacky cartoon character.”

“Trans people deserve to be represented by M&Ms,” he continued. “Our Trans-Skittle character will help us break chocolate-covered barriers in your mouth and not in your hands.”

The new character, named Quinn, is an M&M that wears an “S” because they haven’t had letter reassignment surgery yet. On the inside, Quinn has the same chocolate taste because it isn’t able to change anything but its outward appearance.

“We just want to let the trans community know that M&M supports you and wants your money!” said the Mars CEO.

The LGBTQ+ community took to Twitter to ask why there isn’t a Latinx M&M. “Do better,” tweeted user @ihatemyself.

Babylon Bee subscriber Jared Lendy contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!

Gregory Ilinovich loves murdering people with illegal guns – so he’s a bit concerned about all these new gun regulations. Luckily, he tends not to follow laws anyway.

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