TAMPA,FL—The NFL has implemented a controversial new rule for all games that go into overtime that is certain to change football forever. Now, instead of determining the winner by who scores the most in overtime, the referee will just play ‘Eenie Meenie Miny Moe’ to determine the winner.

“Eenie Meenie Miny Moe, one of these teams has got to go!” sang the referee as he pointed at each of the teams competing for their spot in the Super Bowl. “If they holler, that’s not fair, they forfeit right then and there!”

“In the past, we would give each team a chance at offense and defense to see which team was better, but now we’ll just sing this silly children’s song instead,” explained referee James Hitchums. “Makes it a lot easier for us refs and saves us from having to make those controversial calls.”

Sources say the referee finished his song while his finger was still pointing at the Buccaneers—immediately negating all of the team’s hard work and eliminating them on the spot. The Rams were declared victorious and moved one step closer to the Super Bowl.

At publishing time, the NFL changed the rules once again and decided that the entire Super Bowl would now be decided by a game of ‘Duck, Duck, Goose’.

Gregory Ilinovich loves murdering people with illegal guns – so he’s a bit concerned about all these new gun regulations. Luckily, he tends not to follow laws anyway.

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