Commanders, I mean, Commanders. The two-season search for a new name from the former Washington Redskins resulted in an outcome that makes the Cleveland Indians’ name-switch to the Guardians look like genius. 

In two years, no one thought how “Washington Commanders” might get nicknamed? The team rolled out the new moniker in a Today show exclusive:

ESPN didn’t mention anything about potential nicknames, either:

It’s the Washington Commanders.

After 87 years with its former name and two years as the Washington Football Team, the franchise announced Wednesday morning its new name would be the Commanders. The team also unveiled its new logo and uniforms.

Washington’s leaders — team president Jason Wright and coach Ron Rivera — had stressed during the 20-month search that it would like to incorporate the military because of its connection to the nation’s capital.

Commander is a term used most often in the military as a naval officer rank, but it also can be used as a generic term.

True, but not for a team that hasn’t won a playoff game in 17 years, and whose last winning season was six years ago. The last time the Washington franchise “commanded” anything was in 1991 when they went 14-2 and won a Super Bowl.  Team names and identities are usually aspirational to some degree, but come on, man.

I’d bet that Washington fans would rather have had their team go without a name and focus on winning than focus for two years on a new branding strategy. And they can’t be encouraged about the team’s competence at winning when they have already demonstrated a complete incompetence at branding. I mean, who couldn’t have seen this coming?

After an inadvertent reveal at Lenin-Marx Field — er, Fed-Ex Field — last night, the jokes started immediately. By mid-evening, the “Commies” meme had grown so broadly that Bleacher Report’s Tyler Conway pointed out the complete failure to game out the potential outcomes of the branding, especially in light of the team colors:

I for one think Washington Commies perfectly encapsulates the direction of Congress these days. I’m also pretty sure that this isn’t what Dan Snyder had in mind when he spent two years and who-knows-how-much cash on his rebranding effort to curry favor with the woke and political elite. Snyder should have stuck with the Washington Football Team. It might not sell as many jerseys, but neither does a combined winning percentage of 40.7% over the past ten years.

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