MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook shed more than $200 billion in market value in the biggest single-day loss ever for a U.S. company after CEO Mark Zuckerberg removed his skin suit during a Zoom call with shareholders.

Eyewitnesses participating in the Zoom call claim Zuckerberg asked to be excused for a moment, then, apparently thinking the video feed was off, proceeded to unzip his human skin suit to reveal an alien creature with unearthly features. The creature then stood up and stretched his lizardy arms that had been packed into the dermal disguise and began slithering around the spacious office.

“Mr. Zuckerberg would like to apologize for surprising any shareholders in what was, uh, obviously a super planned demo of the new Metaverse,” said Facebook Head of Public Relations Gurtha McSpoutsy in a subsequent audio-only zoom call with traumatized shareholders. “The, um, incredible realism of Mr. Zuckerberg’s demonstration shows just how realistic the metaverse is while also emphasizing how so very human our CEO also is.”

Zuckerberg then joined the call to apologize in person for the shocking display, but instead of using normal human words, he accidentally said, “Zleeb glorb brax brax gol’uzz.”

Justin Trudeau just released this statement where he claims the truckers hate him because he’s a brave he/him of color, eh?

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