LOS ANGELES, CA—Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is returning to the “Fast & Furious” franchise in a new feature film where he drives over his friends with a bus.
The film co-stars Joe Rogan as Agent Beauregard, a new character who is a loyal friend of Lucas Hobbs until Hobbs callously betrays him, publically disowns him, and runs him over with a city bus. Hobbs then takes viewers on an action-packed thrill ride to justify running over his friend, who he left for dead on the side of the road.
“It’s an epic adventure,” said Johnson. “I put a lot of myself into this film. I do half of my own stunts and I really do run over Joe with a bus. Fans are going to love it!”
Hollywood insiders report Joe Rogan was surprised when the script was scrapped halfway through shooting to include a plot point in which Dwayne Johnson’s character brutally crushes Rogan under the tires of a 10-ton vehicle just a few minutes after proclaiming his undying loyalty to him.
“I signed on to the movie because of the script, but then they changed it so I die halfway through, I was kind of upset,” he said while promoting the film on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. “But when they explained that my character was pedaling misinformation, I realized obviously he had to die. It definitely made the movie the movie better.”
The Fast & Furious 10: Accountability Drift releases worldwide this summer. The film also stars Vin Diesel, who gets run over by The Rock’s military tank.
Justin Trudeau just released this statement where he claims the truckers hate him because he’s a brave he/him of color, eh?