OTTAWA—The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have detained a child for playing with a toy semi-truck.
The child, whose name has not been released because he/she/it is a minor, was reportedly aggressing against Trudeau by rolling it along the sidewalk and making “HONK HONK” sounds.
“He was trying to play peacefully and have a little fun, eh?” said the boy’s father. “You bet I’ll be filing a complaint aboot this, buddy.”
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said earlier this week, “I have zero tolerance for these savage domestic terrorists and their sympathizers. This includes anyone pretending to be a trucker.”
“I will no longer tolerate joy in Canada!” he added while pounding his fist on his desk before switching to his native German and yelling some more.
Eyewitnesses report the child was warned repeatedly to put the toy down but failed to do so because he was too busy pretending the semi-truck toy could fly through the air and shoot lasers at approaching bears. Authorities then tackled the violent youth.
“The Prime Minister has made it clear that if we feel the least bit triggered we must proceed with an arrest,” said the RCMP Commissioner. “The minor was moving his toy in an aggressive manner that destabilized the immediate area.”
The Freedom Convoy protesters were reportedly emboldened by the tyrannical move, something Trudeau could not anticipate due to not understanding anything about people.
This woman – er, wymxn? – was pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. But she’s got a surefire way to get out of the ticket: her preferred pronoun is they!