CANYON, TX—According to sources, a local Marine Corps veteran approached an exhausted Chick-fil-A employee today and thanked her for her service. The Marine, who served 18 tours in Operation Iraqi Freedom, praised the bedraggled employee for upholding American values while defending goodness, decency, charity, and excellent customer service everywhere.

“You’ve accomplished what I could only dream of,” said Sergeant Gregory Foster as a smiling worker brought out a bag of delicious chicken. “May God bless you, ma’am, and may your team make it home safely.”

The employee, Jonna Androsockle, humbly deflected the praise.

“I’m no hero,” Androsockle said later. “But I serve with heroes. I’ve only been at Chick-fil-A for a week, but I’ve got scars that will stay with me for a lifetime. The drive-thru line is never shorter than a dozen cars and my face is frozen in a smile for the rest of my life.”

“It just feels good to be recognized,” she continued. “I was a little annoyed he interrupted my break, though. I was reading the book of Job in the Holy Scriptures. I think he would really get me.”

Sgt. Foster took to social media to follow up on his praise for the young woman. “I’ve been in absolute hell but I can’t imagine what those brave Chick-fil-A employees go through every day,” he tweeted.

Androsockle has since been recognized by her manager and now makes an extra 25 cents an hour.

This woman – er, wymxn? – was pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. But she’s got a surefire way to get out of the ticket: her preferred pronoun is they!

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