OTTAWA—Justin Trudeau, suffering from severe post-traumatic stress disorder, reportedly had a crippling flashback to the horrors of the honking truckers of Ottawa this morning when another driver politely honked at him to go because the light was green.
Trudeau was checking his Instagram likes on his phone when the light went green. The Canadian driver behind him waited the customary fifteen seconds before giving a polite “beep” from his car horn and a nice little wave, apologizing at the same time for honking.
But to Trudeau, the light honking sound was “just too much to handle.”
“Every time I hear one of those infernal beeps, it sends me right back… back to the war. To the dark times,” Trudeau said, shaking, as an aide took the wheel and he curled up in the back in the fetal position. “I don’t wanna go back. I don’t wanna go back.”
According to aides, Trudeau can’t hear the sound of a car horn honking, a goose honking, or even a bicycle horn without completely collapsing, his mind sent back to the traumatic two weeks during which his city was under siege by truckers, families, kids, and bouncy castles.
Trudeau has been hospitalized and will, of course, receive free treatment under the Canadian healthcare system, though he is on a six-month waitlist for psychiatric care.
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