Because nothing else of importance needed their attention, Congress was finally able to pass the anti-lynching act we have all been clamoring for and desperately in need of. At long last, the act has finally been sent to President Biden’s desk, and once he signs it, everything will finally be fixed!

I bet you thought the biggest issue right now was the sky-high inflation that’s been impoverishing you, or maybe the stratospheric cost of filling your tank or heating your home. Maybe you were concerned about the millions of illegal aliens who are walking across our border and being given phones, benefits, and transportation around the country on your dime. It might be the destruction of women’s spaces and children’s lives in the name of “transgender rights” that keeps you up at night. Or the fact that there’s a full-blown war in central Europe, which could expand at any moment to suck in more nations, and maybe even end up with nukes in the air — you might think that’s a very serious situation that your representatives should be focusing on right now. Well, you’re wrong!

“After more than 200 failed attempts to outlaw lynching, Congress is finally succeeding in taking the long overdue action by passing the Emmett Till Antilynching Act,” crowed Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. “Hallelujah. It’s long overdue.”

Schumer emphasized the urgency behind the bill’s passage by calling the fact that it took a long time to pass it a “bitter stain on America” and saying he expects President Biden will sign it into law “quickly.” (I’m sure President Biden will use the occasion to remind us all about the evils of “white supremacy.”)

Once signed into law, the Emmett Till Antilynching Act makes it illegal to murder people specifically by lynching them, and it categorizes this particular kind of murder as a “hate crime.”

Related: Atlanta’s Soaring Crime Rate Is the Legacy of Leadership Caving to Wokeness

Even though murdering people is already illegal in the United States, the extreme necessity of prioritizing the bill was underscored by the Senate’s unanimous consent for its passage yesterday. (The House passed it last week by a near-unanimous vote of 422–3.)

“Lynchings were violent public acts that white people used to terrorize and control Black people in the 19th and 20th centuries, particularly in the South,” explains the NAACP on their website. But even though the last lynching occurred over half a century ago, and there are currently shortages, inflation, and an actual war going on, Congress rightfully spent time addressing and solving this massively important problem.

I’ll be sleeping easier tonight, now that I know murderers who would have gone to jail anyway are going to jail!

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