INNSMOUTH, MA—Local man Jordan Smith was awarded an honorary doctorate degree from a local university after he posted his Wordle score to social media. Representatives from the college quickly contacted him and offered him the Ph.D. when they saw that he got the answer in just three guesses.
“Look at this guy — he got it in three guesses!” said the Dean of the school, Professor Henry Armitage. “Genius like that only comes along once in a generation. This is huge!” College personnel immediately began working to find the man they dubbed “the wonder kid” in order to give him the honorary degree.
“I’m glad I’m finally being recognized,” he told reporters. “I knew my hard work posting my Wordle score to social media every day for the past 266 days wouldn’t go unrewarded.”
“If you’re still posting your Wordle score and you’re getting no likes or feel like everyone is annoyed at you, just keep at it. Your hard work will pay off.”
Sources claim that hundreds of women have also reached out to Smith to offer themselves in marriage. He was given the key to the city, a parade was thrown in his honor, and, according to attendees, there was much rejoicing.
Along with the doctorate, Smith gets unlimited frozen yogurt in the school cafeteria for life.
This woman is an angry feminist — but she’s quickly changing her tune as World War 3 starts and she faces the possibility of getting drafted.