U.S.—Planned Parenthood has long been seen as a reliable provider of unborn baby murder. Unfortunately, however, more and more women around the country are choosing to let their children live, which has hurt Planned Parenthood’s bottom line in recent years. 

In a brilliant move to recover lost revenue, Planned Parenthood has added transgender hormones and surgery to their list of services, enabling them to make money off the kids who escape abortion by carving up and maiming them after they’re born in the name of trans rights.

“Butchering and maiming children has always been my life’s passion,” said Planned Parenthood doctor Damien Ghoul as he rubbed his hands together and smiled. “Now, thanks to gender ideology and our new ‘gender services,’ I can carve up kids from kindergarten to high school as well as in the womb! Woo hoo!” 

Planned Parenthood has written sex-ed curricula for schools across the country to ensure kids become gender-confused and enter the Planned Parenthood sales pipeline at a very young age. They hope that with time, they will accomplish their goal of murdering, drugging, or butchering every last child in the country.

“We are proud of the work we do at Planned Parenthood,” said Dr. Ghoul. “Who knows–the next child we serve could be yours!” 

Dr. Ghoul then sprouted leathery wings and screeched an ancient Sumerian incantation before singing into the ground in a plume of fire.

This woman is an angry feminist — but she’s quickly changing her tune as World War 3 starts and she faces the possibility of getting drafted.

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