https://babylonbee.com/news/pete-davidson-confirmed-as-next-james-bond/

LONDON—The next actor to take on the mantle of Ian Fleming’s beloved character James Bond has been found. EON Productions announced Wednesday that actor/comedian Pete Davidson would be stepping into the role of a sexier and more deadly 007.

Producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson hosted a press event to announce the casting.

“We auditioned over a hundred actors, shot a dozen screen tests, and invested a lot of time and money into focus testing,” said Wilson. “In the end, there was only one obvious choice. Pete Davidson is James Bond.”

“He completely embodies the role,” agreed Broccoli. “Pete is just so handsome. I think about him every night as I go to sleep.”

Wilson admitted to being initially skeptical of the choice but came around when he found out Davidson had stolen Kim Kardashian from Kanye West.

“This guy keeps dating women way out of his league. There’s obviously something there I’m missing. He’s not that funny.”

Pete Davidson arrived at the event in a white tuxedo. “What up, yeah, it’s cool!” he said when asked how he was preparing for the role. “Look at me I’m Sean Connery! Nice!”

Bond 26 has not yet been titled, though “Risico” has been rumored. It is expected to release Fall of 2025. Every character is expected to be genderfluid.


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