U.S.—Christian parents are reportedly baffled that an hour of youth group is not enough to combat the thirty hours of TikTok their teenagers consume every week. Now youths are experimenting with sin like they just ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, say experts.
Daryl Frendoprenz of Vermont stated, “I’m a devout Christian. I go to church almost every week unless I’m kind of tired. But my kids don’t seem to be picking up anything from the youth group. The church is clearly not doing enough. I mean, do they expect me to teach my own children? I don’t even talk to them!”
Meanwhile, a loving family of four in Arizona is being torn apart by a TikTok challenge.
Mother Regina Chilfeather sobbed: “My daughter says she has to take a bath in a bucket of crabs so she can get likes. I don’t even know what that means. I asked her what Jesus would think and she had no idea what I was talking about!”
Pastors have appealed to Proverbs 22, advising parents to train a child up in the way they should go, but this has further baffled the parents.
“I already take them to church sometimes, isn’t that enough?” questioned Sam Tolerton of Kansas. “Fine, I guess I can go every week. Ugh!”
TikTok is a video-sharing app that allows users to share 15-second videos even though that’s stupid. It’s gained wide popularity among easily influenced youths. Pastors are desperate to convince their flock that even if they bring their kids to church once a week they should actually stop letting their kids use TikTok so much—or at all for that matter.
“People, please,” said Pastor Robinson of the Lake Tahoe Church of the Olive. “You have to actually talk to your children.”
At publishing time, several families left the church after being told what to do.
This woman is an angry feminist — but she’s quickly changing her tune as World War 3 starts and she faces the possibility of getting drafted.