EDEN—According to sources, The Creator decided it’s not good for man to be alone and has created a beautiful helper and companion for him, formed from a rib taken from the first man, Adam. Unfortunately, Adam isn’t sure what to call this exquisite and wonderful creature as he is not a biologist.

“This is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh,” began Adam. “She shall be called, um… gosh, I really can’t say. I’m no scientist here.” He then stammered and stuttered for 10 minutes causing the feminine-looking bipedal humanoid creature to roll its eyes.

“Ah crap, was it something I said?” said Adam, scratching his head. “I don’t know what this creature—who looks very much like me except better in every conceivable way—identifies as! Oh! If there was only a peer-reviewed biologist or gender studies professor who could make this clear to me!” 

The first man was going to give his wife a name but failed to come up with one as he wasn’t sure of her gender. He decided it would be a bit patriarchal to give this perfectly lovely creation a name instead of letting it self-identify.

At the time of printing, Adam is now hanging out alone with his pet parrot and the feminine-looking creature has wandered off and made friends with a snake. 

This woman is an angry feminist — but she’s quickly changing her tune as World War 3 starts and she faces the possibility of getting drafted.

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