CEDAR RAPIDS, IA—A local mother of 4 who stays home with her kids as a full-time homemaker is coming under criticism for perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards for women everywhere.
“Just look at her, with her beautiful smile, the sun in her hair, teaching her little girl how to crack an egg as her husband looks at her with pure adoration in his eyes,” said Bertha Bundrixx, a local feminist scholar. “It makes me sick. This is just the kind of thing that creates unrealistic standards of beauty for the rest of us. 35-year-old business majors in Manhattan who see women like this might be made to feel inadequate. We should denigrate and disparage this version of womanhood at all costs.”
Many experts agree that these stay-at-home moms may serve to create a toxic culture that threatens the self-esteem of childless feminists everywhere. They are calling for the media to guard against holding up such examples of jaw-dropping feminine beauty as the ideal.
“Women like this should be ashamed of themselves,” said Bundrixx as she watched the young mother singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” with her 3-year-old. “OMG! SO CUTE! …Um, I mean, disgusting. It’s disgusting.”
In this internal meeting at Twitter, two new employees learn the ropes of who gets banned and who gets to stay on.