I bet you haven’t heard the word “darning” — as in, “I hope you like darning socks” — in a long time.

The Luddites of the European Commission (EC) have identified another route of attack in their endless war to force the peasants to conform to pre-industrial lifestyles. (It matters what the EU does because Leftists in the United States look to that supreme ministry of minding other people’s business as a model for future policy.)

On Wednesday, as part of its Green New Deal, the EC released the “EU Strategy for Sustainable and Circular Textiles” (available here), a framework for bending the textile and apparel industry to its will by completely retooling it within the next eight years.

(“Circular” is a popular jargon buzzword that is right up there with “sustainable” among the smart set these days. It refers to a mindset that aims to reduce the amount of raw materials consumed by discouraging single-use products and encourages repairing, reusing, and recycling manufactured goods while also reducing pollution in the production cycle. Sounds great, but the devil is in the details.)

Brussels claims the strategy “sets out the vision and concrete actions to ensure that by 2030 textile products placed on the EU market are long-lived and recyclable, made as much as possible of recycled fibres, free of hazardous substances and produced in respect of social rights and the environment.”

While that’s all fine and well, there are some things that society has innovated over the years and are now healthier, better performing, and more efficient. Textiles are certainly among them. The performance fabrics now available enhance everyone’s quality of life, both from a fitness and a fashion point of view. It’s easier than ever to exercise while staying dry and comfortable. And more importantly, since fashion has always been fickle, modern textiles lend themselves to quickly and flexibly produced stylish clothing that everybody can afford.

We can’t have that!

“All textiles should be long-lasting, recyclable, made of recycled fibers and free of dangerous substances,” says EC Vice President Frans Timmermans. “The clothes we wear should last longer than three washes,” he exaggerated, to sell the upcoming round of crushing regulation.

“The Commission seeks to put a halt on fast fashion by introducing rules on textiles to be used in the European market,” said Ioana Popescu of the NGO Environmental Coalition on Standards.

“Fast fashion” — the villain in the EC’s textiles takeover narrative — means trendy, fun items such as the buttery soft yoga leggings and cozy teddy bear fleeces that helped many of us get through the dark, cold winter.

“Fast fashion” also refers to the apparel brands that normal people can afford to buy. But don’t worry — the industrious brains at the EC have it all worked out for you! The plan specifies that “Increased durability will enable consumers to use clothing for longer and at the same time support circular business models such as reuse, renting and repair, take-back services and second-hand retail, in a way that creates cost-saving opportunities to citizens.”

Thrifting is fun when it’s optional. Chalk it up as yet another one of life’s pleasures that Big Left is about to destroy.

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Timmermans explained that the high-end fashion houses “are always the first to show the way forward.” The commission will be leaning on luxury brands to take the lead in transforming the apparel industry — naturally, since elites will be the only ones who will be able to afford these new eco-garments.

As for everyone else, you’ll wear your betters’ hand-me-downs and used workout clothes while you take your five-year-old britches to the textiles repair shop again, and you’ll like it!

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