BERKELEY, CA—BLM leaders are calling for more nationwide protests this summer after discovering a fantastic home on Malibu Beach that they should easily afford if they begin riling people up now.

Co-founder Patrisse Cullors appeared as a guest on CNN’s Don Lemon Tonight to get the word out about a need to protest something.

“BIPOCS are constantly marginalized and stuff like that,” Cullors told a vigorously nodding Don Lemon. “For example, I bought a six million dollar home with BLM donations and was heavily criticized for it. I had to resign as executive director of BLM. That’s racism at work! We need to hit the streets now!”

“You’re absolutely right,” said Lemon. “We need to call for justice and things like that. JUSTICE for Patrisse Cullors!”

“That and George Floyd. We can get more mileage out of him. Then I can finally get that Malibu beach house I’ve always wanted,” replied Cullors while sipping champagne. “And if anyone criticizes it we’ll just say we bought it as a ‘BIPOC Creative Community Space’ or something like that! Hahahahaha!” 

Prominent black female Ketanji Brown Jackson was asked her opinion on why people incite peaceful protests to help greedy people make money off of worldwide outrage.

“I don’t know, I’m not an anthropologist,” she said.

Babylon Bee subscriber Michael Sebetich contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!

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