U.S.—Netflix stock has taken a massive plunge this morning after the revelation that there is only one paid account that all 200 million users are sharing. The account, [email protected], apparently has the password “password123.” No one knows who created it years ago, but it got passed to that person’s relative, who passed it on to their roommate, who then passed it on to their housekeeper, and so on. “This raises some concerns about how profitable and sustainable Netflix’s business model is going forward,” said one stock analyst. “From the number of streams the service reported per show, we figured there were at least a baker’s dozen subscribers, resulting in the high stock evaluations we’ve seen. But now that we know that everyone is sharing halo_gamer420’s login, that valuation seems to be severely inflated.” At publishing time, Netflix had announced that they would be cracking down on sharing passwords, resulting in three new account signups.

Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter’s possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.

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