FRANKLIN, TN—During a recent corporate prayer at First Baptist Tennessee, Pastor Dave Hughes asked his church to extend their arms forward and pray over a woman who needed healing. Despite the hundreds in attendance with arms forward in prayer, the woman was unable to be healed until the final holdout, Belle Jenkins, extended her arm too.

According to sources, as soon as Belle begrudgingly joined the congregation by reaching out her hand too, the Holy Spirit finally had what he needed to be able to heal the woman of all her ailments.

“I was praying earnestly for the woman, just not with my hand extended like I was supposed to. Hence, the prayer was just falling on deaf ears,” said Jenkins. “And to think I thought I just needed to be a right with God to have effective prayers. Boy, do I feel silly now.”

“You can’t just pray wholeheartedly with your hands in your pockets. That would never work,” explained Pastor Hughes. “The entire church must extend their hands when praying over someone to increase the strength of the prayer’s signal. It’s basically like a lightning rod to channel and amplify prayers.”

At publishing time, the worship leader was stuck singing the chorus on repeat until Jenkins once again lifted her hands in worship with the rest of the church.

Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter’s possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube

You Might Like
Learn more about RevenueStripe...