RALEIGH, NC—Ben Thompson has been called by the Holy Spirit to do the exact thing he wanted to do all along. In a stunning series of coincidences, Thompson found that every desire of his heart is in direct accordance with what the Holy Spirit was leading him to.

“I just don’t feel called to do anything I don’t want to do, live sacrificially, or share the gospel with my neighbor,” said Ben Thomspon. “And that couldn’t have worked out better as the Spirit was clearly leading me to live my life entirely how I wanted everywhere, all the time.”

“Some people are called to do mission work and risk their lives in China, but not me. I’ve been called to watch sports all day, play video games, and drink as much as I’d like,” explained Ben. “Yep, my life that’s completely indistinguishable from unbelievers is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.”

Ben continued to explain that he’s being led through “a season” right now where he doesn’t even need to go to church and gather with other believers. He says he’s also being led to go stretches of weeks and months without prayer. 

At publishing time, Ben thought he was being called to be mentored by a more spiritually mature believer, but soon realized that funny feeling was just indigestion.

Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter’s possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube

You Might Like
Learn more about RevenueStripe...