New documents confirm the COVID vaccine is only 12% effective! Oh well… they tried. And everyone had fun, didn’t they? 

Here are a few things that ended up being more effective than the vaccine:

1) CNN+

2) Telling your wife to calm down

3) The prayer of an unrighteous man

4) “No Firearms Allowed” sign

5) Infant Baptism

6) Simply walking into Mordor 

7) Wuhan Lab safety protocols

8) Amber Heard’s publicist

9) Voting Republican in California

10) Opioids

11) Anti-piracy ads

12) Chiropractors

13) Jeffrey Toobin’s “Turn Off Camera” Button

14) Truth Social

15) Public campaign to launch the Governance Disinformation Board

16) The Sinner’s Prayer

17) Faith without works

18) Blowing up a system that’s too remote for an effective demonstration such as Dantooine

19) Defund the police movement

20) Parenting teens

21) Trump’s spray tan

22) Pelosi’s facelifts

23) Female preaching

24) Kamala Harris

25) Ice-type move against Steel-type Pokémon

Whew! Did that seem like a lot? There’s more where that came from but our eyes were starting to glaze over. We have had a harder time focusing ever since our myocarditis scare. 

Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter’s possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.

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