In Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians, he mentions a super annoying “thorn in the flesh” that burdened him.

“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.”

Instead of focusing on the overall context of the passage—that God’s grace is sufficient for us in our suffering—theologians have spent two thousand years speculating about what his thorn in the flesh actually was.

Here are 32 possibilities:

1) A literal thorn from that time he was picking roses. Ouch!

2) Barnabas keeps placing whoopee cushions on his chairs. Embarrassing!

3) Check engine light won’t turn off.

4) Left Apple EarPod won’t charge.

5) Eye floaters.

6) The Black Eyed Peas and black-eyed peas. The music and the food. Gross!

7) When you go to a restaurant and the waiter never comes by to get you that refill of vanilla coke.

8) Flamin’ Hot Mountain Dew.

9) Getting stoned by the Jews.

10) Been in prison multiple times with no cool tattoos to show for it.


12) Airplanes not having been invented yet. Traveling takes FOREVER.

13) The WiFi in Corinth is really slow.

14) Microsoft Zune discontinued.

15) Low midichlorean count.

16) That time Agrippa said he was almost persuaded to become a Christian. Stop being so non-committal, dude.

17) Timothy needs to lighten up.

18) That one guy who insists his spiritual gift is playing the trumpet.

19) Zoom calls.

20) Inbox with 600 unopened emails.

21) Sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

22) Prison food makes him gassy.

23) The lady at church who brings a tambourine.

24) The Spirit editing all the funny jokes out of his epistles.

25) Has a dad bod even though he’s not a dad.

26) Piece of popcorn stuck in his gums.

27) Kid selling chocolate bars outside of Target.

28) Peter being a total Simon.

29) Running out of Spotify skips.

30) Pride Month.

31) Chick-fil-A being closed on Sundays.

32) The Last Jedi

The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don’t like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”!

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