https://babylonbee.com/news/go-get-out-of-here-be-free-cries-aoc-to-her-tesla/

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was spotted attempting to shoo away her Tesla Model 3 Thursday afternoon. She reportedly set the car free following a Twitter feud with Elon Musk but was discouraged when the car would not leave her driveway to go back to the wild.

“Shoo! You’re free! Go back to your kind!” she tearfully yelled at the $35,000 electric vehicle. Neighbors witnessed her throw rocks at the electric vehicle in an attempt to scare it away.

“I can’t keep you!” she screamed. “Go on, get! Drive away! It’s not safe here!”

AOC sat down to cry, her heart unable to bear the tremendous burden of turning her beloved car into an enemy.

According to sources, she was lying in a puddle of tears when she suddenly perked up and shouted, “Oh wait!” Reports confirm she ran to unplug the Tesla and then began shooing it again.

“Now you’re really free!” she said. “Go! GOOOOOOO!”

At publishing time, AOC parked the car illegally in front of a Whole Foods in an effort to have it towed out of her life.


In the social justice system, words are considered violence. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious attacks are members of an elite squad known as the Microaggression Victims Unit. These are their stories.


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