https://babylonbee.com/news/man-not-sure-if-wife-is-packing-for-long-weekend-getaway-or-to-travel-the-oregon-trail/

FREEHOLD, NJ—Local husband John Lucent says he suspected his wife was secretly planning a trip across the country on the Oregon Trail based on the number of supplies she packed. His wife Ainsley insisted she was just heading to the beach for a girls’ weekend.  

“I got a little suspicious when she asked me to help pack the car,” Lucent noted. “It was only two suitcases, which didn’t seem too bad. But I didn’t realize she had already filled the entire car with supplies and just needed my help finding space for the last two bags.” 

Lucent says he wrote down an inventory list of everything he found in the car. In addition to the requisite clothes, shoes, and makeup, he also found two spare wagon wheels, one spare wagon tongue, 300 pounds of flour, 85 pounds of dried beans, 20 pounds of salt pork, a flintlock musket with 100 rounds of ammunition, and two teams of oxen. 

Lucent confronted his wife about his suspicions, but Ainsley said he was just being paranoid, as those were all necessary items for a weekend away. “What if the car breaks down? What if all the restaurants are closed?” she asked. “And what if my friend Sydney dies of dysentery and we need to hunt for our own food along the way???” 

At publishing time, Ainsley had returned home from her weekend trip without having used any of the supplies she packed. She also had an extra suitcase full of new clothes and home décor items that she bought at the beach.  


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