So, taking your kids to drag shows is bad. But it can’t possibly be the worst thing ever, can it? We need to have nuance in these discussions, as Jesus taught us to. So, we’ve come up with this list of ten things worse than taking your kids to a drag show:
1. Releasing a bunch of scorpions into an orphanage and then punching the orphans as they run out screaming – Pretty evil! Though, Jesus never said you should tie a millstone around your neck and yeet yourself into the ocean if you do this, so maybe it isn’t as bad. Huh. Alright, we’ll try another one.
2. Hitler! – He’s worse than everything! So kinda a gimme.
3. Um, oh yeah! Killing someone! – Killing someone is wrong. That’s worse! Totally worse. I think we can all get behind this one.
4. [ask writers for more ideas]
8. [fill in later]
9. [fill in later]
10. Bees? – Bees can, uh, sting you or something? That’s pretty bad?
Uh… sorry. We couldn’t come up with ten. The intern who writes these listicles is getting fired.
But, uh, yeah. Stop taking your kids to drag shows, ya creepy weirdos.
To celebrate Pride Month, Mattel has released its first-ever pregnant man doll: Pregnant Ken! You can have all sorts of fun with the clearly MALE Ken doll and his pregnant belly! Available wherever non-gender-specific toys are sold.