BURBANK, CA—Committing to their pledge to bring families quality, inclusive entertainment, Disney has digitally replaced Tim Allen with Chris Evans in all episodes of Home Improvement.

After purchasing the rights to the beloved 90’s TV sitcom, the entertainment juggernaut wasted no time in removing content from the series deemed offensive by modern standards: Tim Allen.

“Tim Allen, the irreplaceable heart and soul of Home Improvement, has been replaced after voicing problematic opinions,” said Head of Disney+ Programming, Pamby McGroomerton. “Viewers will feel safer once they see the bland, prescribed, vacuous performance of Chris Evans.”

Disney’s decision to digitally replace troublesome actors with safe actors has received praise from progressive fans of comedic television entertainment who have worked tirelessly to demand the removal of all comedy from comedic television entertainment.

At publishing time, Disney announced plans to replace the remaining cast members of Home Improvement with Amy Schumer, Jussie Smollett, and a couple of trans kids.

To celebrate Pride Month, Mattel has released its first-ever pregnant man doll: Pregnant Ken! You can have all sorts of fun with the clearly MALE Ken doll and his pregnant belly! Available wherever non-gender-specific toys are sold.

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