AMES, IA—Local mom Amanda Walker dejectedly told her husband she accomplished nothing today, having spent all her time taking care of infinitely precious children of God.

“I felt like I worked so hard today, but somehow nothing got done,” said Mrs. Walker, children’s laughter echoing in the background. “What do I have to show for all my effort?” she asked as her three kids wriggled up next to her for a story.

Mrs. Walker explained to her husband Aaron how she had designs on cleaning the house, but their youngest started running a fever out of nowhere. So instead of making the carpet visible, She snuggled up to a one-year-old to comfort him. She had also planned to work on studying for her real estate license, but the lunch meat in the refrigerator had gone bad. So instead of learning the nuances of property tax, she fed her children and gathered them around the table for a made-from-scratch meal. 

“It sometimes feels like I’m not using my full potential,” said Mrs. Walker, who daily lives to raise her children in wisdom and the fear of God. “I feel like I’m in the same narrow rut,” sighed the incredible woman entrusted to introduce the entire universe to her children.

At publishing time, Mr. Walker had been called back into work by his boss, who cared little for his well-being, to punch in numbers at the behest of a total stranger, in order to make money that’s becoming progressively worthless.

To celebrate Pride Month, Mattel has released its first-ever pregnant man doll: Pregnant Ken! You can have all sorts of fun with the clearly MALE Ken doll and his pregnant belly! Available wherever non-gender-specific toys are sold.

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